1. |
Two For Flinching
04:10
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What a waste of time it was
To wish for wings while watching doves
When the body can’t become
Everything the mind is jealous of
So tell me, do you still believe
That courage transcends everything
When the weather won’t agree
And you have the will, but not the steel to fight it
Some things are dyed in the wool
But don’t fall asleep in the mold
Maybe fear is a color we wear, not part of our shape
When you feel the wind growing cold
And you’re scared of losing control
Then really was it ever yours
If you stay or if you run
By default you become someone
Your eyes can’t just blame the leanse
For the way your world is colored in
‘Cause honestly I do not believe
That currents bring us all we need
Search and you will see
Even within waves your hands can stay steady
Some things are dyed in the wool
But don’t fall asleep in the mold
Maybe fear is a color we wear, not part of our shape
You feel the wind growing cold
And you’re scared of losing control
Then really was it ever yours
When the truth is not all snakes rattle before they bite
So do you blame the aggression or the appetite?
Cause everyone fights a private revolution
Untouched by pills or potions
The consequence of motion:
You hear fear in the pause and you know it
Sure, some things are dyed in the wool
But don’t fall asleep in the mold
Maybe fear is a color we wear, not part of our shape
When you feel the wind growing cold
And you’re scared of losing control
Then really was it ever yours
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2. |
Rally
04:17
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Mental now ‘cause the shadows showed me how they only move when the sun is out
Where’s the fault when the sugar and the salt look the same before their in your mouth
But I get the feeling I would lay it to rest if I just needed to put it to bed
In fear and faith, the former puts me in debt but I’m climbing out on the latter half
Something keeps me sleeping in
Wrestled to the ground again
Angry at the stubborn leaves
It may be time to shake the trees
(“Maybe fear is a color we wear not part of” - I know!)
Hollowed out ‘cause sometimes I like the sound of my bones when they’re all alone
Who’d have thought longevity becomes a taunt when you’re getting everything you want
Is it just me or do you fear the breeze for its unpredictability?
Is it really true that the dirt on your shoes won’t move anywhere without you?
When the smallest seed eventually sees the sycamore’s view
Don’t be the one who’s quick to pick to the fruit but never water the root
Something keeps me sleeping in
Wrestled to the ground again
Angry at the stubborn trees
It may be time to shake the trees
I hear it now: there’s a mercy in the sound
I think that peace of mind is the bait
When you’re trying to catch a break
You can’t procrastinate and bear the weight
Of all the parts of you that you’d change if you were brave
If you’d just be brave!
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3. |
Hospital Pass
03:19
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I’ve been rationing guilt cause I don’t call you enough to call you out
But my stomach still turns when you speak with just teeth in your mouth
What bent you so bad? You think the bird in your hand has an angle
If nothing rippled your calm and sent waves through the things that you believe
Then why won’t you look at me?
If to know better is to do better
Then why do you do the things you do?
I only know better because you said to do better
“You catch the things the world throws at you”
When you lay down like this
You confuse peace with quiet
I’ve been fashioning frames from the limbs that laid shape when we were younger
But my arm’s length has changed, I don’t see you the same even in pictures
What made you so mad? You took the things that you had and built a monument
A back seat or a throne, but wouldn’t you know it’s hard not to look down
From moral high-ground
If to know better is to do better
Then why do we do the things we do?
I only know better because you said to do better
“You catch the things the world throws at you”
When you lay down like this
You confuse peace with quiet
Stolen innocence
Or did you just let the buy it?
Spending common sense
Just to rent self confidence
You confuse peace with quiet
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4. |
Survival Of The Chillest
04:22
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When it gets too lonely to adore
Your autonomy is lovingly ignored
So you stand inside the roar of everything you’ve ever wanted
With all your joy departed
You challenge my ability
To find a rhyme in a passive melody
Well I’d rather be good than lucky
Since idle hands seem to beg for everything
So tell me, when you just waste all your time
Can you call it a simple life?
Cause the second shoe can’t be ignored
when it always tends to find the floor
When it gets too lonely to adore
Your autonomy is lovingly ignored
So you stand inside the roar of everything you’ve ever wanted
With all your joy departed
And just a stiff drink to prop your chin up
Wage war on common sense
To justify rec-league accomplishments
Your followers may never pay your rent
I call your bluff and get the voicemail and then
I watch your knuckles turn white again
Inside the box you put yourself in
When it gets too lonely to adore
Your autonomy is lovingly ignored
So you stand inside the roar of everything you’ve ever wanted
With all your joy departed
And just a stiff drink to prop that chin up
You can’t give a shit but you can talk it
You can’t draw a line but you can walk it
How do you kiss the rings of urban kings
And still not see that it’s just dishonest by design
You can’t see the lines with all the good vibes
Sleep ’til noon and refuse to redefine a waste of time
After all the years spent trying to hear you out
I still think I’ll end up with my foot inside my mouth
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5. |
||||
I’ve been so chemically dependent
Well adjusted and depressed
I buy my thrills and pay my bills
And they both get repossessed
If I had the time or money to find myself
Would I really become anybody else?
From the moment adulthood dragged me
Out of wonder and into work
I’ve wondered why I work the dirt then pay to rent the earth
It’s harder than I want to dismiss the thought
Under the thumb of the hand that feeds me
It doesn’t feel good
Like I thought it would
So do we just put our bones through the motions
Until we’re long in the tooth?
Fistfuls of youth to remind us
We don’t reach out like we used to
Collapse into the codependence of a sandalwood scented home
When the air is sweet on the garbage heap, why would you go into parts unknown?
When I start to see myself in somebody else do I make a change?
Or am I the one who needs it?
It’s hard to tolerate
The sound that ego makes
When it’s the only thing left in the room after you
Buy the view and assume they’d let you take it with you
So do we just put our bones through the motions
Until we’re long in the tooth?
Fistfuls of youth to remind us
That we don’t reach out like we used to
Optimistic limbs keep me in your grip
‘Cause if you learn to let me go I’ll never be more
Than a photograph of the life I had before I pulled the curtain back
And chose not to ignore that we all just
Fear the end of automatic motion
When there’s nothing left of our youth
It crosses my mind every night now
If I found peace would I keep it?
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6. |
Temper
04:46
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You sit and you sink
Sorrow swims in the drink
You hoped it would drown but it floats
In a moat that you made
To try to keep the grief away
Forgetting pleasure and pain weight the same
When we underestimate the worst of us
We bevel the edge of our mind
Too dull to keep the grass cut
We could never look the snakes in the eye
Because I have left permanent shapes in the carpet
Outside your door
When opportunity knocks you ignore
I fear motion don’t live here no more
Habits form in the smoke as cloudy eyes justify
That you don’t only get high when you’re low
Lethargic in the undertow, there’s something so dangerous
When stubborn minds wish they were dead
When we romanticize the things we’ve lost
It’s just rubble in rose colored light
If you’re going to feed the wolf that’s at the door
You can’t hold the years anymore
Because I have left permanent shapes in the carpet
Outside your door
When opportunity knocks you ignore
I fear motion don’t live here no more
There’s a consequence to giving up
You end up begging for forgiveness from
The things you couldn’t overcome
And it just lets your knees bleed
Bury the shame, but now the secret weighs the same
You carry a cross of which I’ll never know the weight
So what could I have said?
Heaven didn’t cast you out, it just let you down
To see the color in the world around is a choice now
So chew it up or spit it out
The pride inside your mouth
Because the hand you used to cast your doubt
Spread salt on common ground
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7. |
Thirteen Thirty One
02:48
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Lately I’ve been wondering why we dress up when people die
As if the straightness of our ties could iron out our crooked minds
‘Cause there was no grace when boys became men overnight
With painted on strength and suit and tie at their father’s funeral
I carry the dead in the shortness of my breath
But I can’t see the point in measuring every step I take away from it
Cause I don’t want to just be alive in photographs
Confronting mortality on an empty stomach
(life still went on, with or without)
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8. |
Anhedonia
05:32
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I was always told
“You should never bury bones where your spirit grows”
But honestly
A cemetery’s just a garden full of gravestones
And I’d like to think that I know you best
When I’m catching the things you get off your chest
It’s okay you killed the limbs to build your nest
But when you’re buried in the retrospect
It can get easier to forget
You were the one who laid the footsteps
Cause where they’ve been you can never know
and where they lead you can never go
so circle wagons real slow
All choked up on the dirt you kicked up
When you kill the lamb that you cut your teeth on
So tell me, what is forgiveness worth?
Let the daylight get to know you like I do
I’ve been worried sick since the day I turned 18
That what I was given would be taken from me
I like to think I’ve outgrown
But I’m shit at leaving “well-enough” alone
This is getting old
Writing pointless tomes on the telephone
Listen for the symphony
In the way the fresh air seems to speak to me
But I like to think that you know me best
When you get your hands underneath my vest
It’s all vines until the space on the other side
I’m worn down on the edges now
From all the pictures I was cut out
What loved me then doesn’t need me now
And don’t it turn you inside out?
Let the daylight get to know you like I do
I’ve been worried sick since the day I turned 18
That what I was given would be taken from me
I like to think I’ve outgrown
But I’m shit at leaving “well-enough” alone
I was always told
“You should never bury bones where your spirit grows”
But honestly
A cemetery’s just a garden full of gravestones
So tell me, what is forgiveness worth?
I don’t think I know what it’s worth
The days you spend outside of the hurt
Because who is going to love them now
That we put their father in the ground?
(and life still goes on, with or without)
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9. |
Fictions
04:10
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I can’t stay bent
I can’t never stand tall again
Cause there’s no sense in pleading ignorance
From atop the fence
That I built to divide territory
In a map drawn by my pride
My fictions are clouding my judgement
Cause they’ll always be a ghost inside the phone
I want to sit up straight for you
But I don’t see a way out, only a way through
So you can tell your friends that I’ll try not to kill their vibes
Cause criticizing their mountain won’t ever help me climb mine
My fictions are clouding my judgement
Cause they’ll always be a ghost inside the phone
And there’s gotta be a way to get in front of it
Always caring the stones I couldn’t throw
Let it go, let it go to show
You can catch and release an elbow
Because sometimes the only way to make it right is to never call again
Aren’t you sick of being sick of it?
You will know when you’ve had enough
You will know when it’s time to run
Feel the things that you’ve never touched
You will know when you’ve had enough
But my fictions are clouding my judgement
‘Cause they’ll always be a life I could have known
And there’s gotta be a way to get in front of it
Always caring the stones I couldn’t throw
On my own
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10. |
Petrichor
04:34
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I’ve been thinking about the space
You leave in the linens
The sound the bedsheets make
When you’re not there to fill them
But if I look long enough
I see the currents in your company
Your limbs swim with an undertow
And the light’s too low to let it go
The way you dance around me on your toes
Your pockets full of all of the moments that we stole
Do I underestimate life’s ability to prorate wanderlust?
Darling, can you see the sun in the space we’ve made to live in?
(honestly)
But for the first time now
Forever is a possibility
And wearing nothing but a whisky coke
We’re both too scared to let it show
That there are waves in you I can’t help you dam
The movements I’ll never understand
You can’t keep my peace, I can’t start your war
There’s only so much life that we can ignore
The cold might come to claim beauty we can’t name
Keep what we cultivate in a picture frame
It will never grow, It will never change
I won’t hold the chain that keeps you in the bay
So we just dance around it on our toes
The fear our frame won’t handle the weight of the unknown
So let us look chance in the eye
Be resolute in knowing
You can love every single seed and lose your garden to the seasons
We are nothing if not persistent darling
We are nothing if not the sum of the people that we love
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11. |
With Or Without
06:31
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It feels like I was better once
I just can’t remember
The things I did differently
At my center
Somewhere between then and now
I lost my temper
Been looking for a way to get it back
I barely keep it quiet
The sound of hope divided
With a broken wrist from shaking my fist at things
That I don’t understand, and can’t change even if I did
I want to turn the worry down
So I can feel the day breathe
Because sleeping through anxiety
Never really worked for me
I can’t put up so I put it off
But the bell’s still ringing
When I wake up with a doubtful mouth
I barely keep it quiet
The sound of hope divided
With a broken wrist from shaking my fist at things
That I don’t understand, and can’t change even if I did
You can only say your hands are tied
(Living like your life’s a losing fight)
When your eyes aren’t wide
(Keeping all your demons out of sight)
If you really want it to be alright
(There’s a consequence to giving up)
You’ll have to find the time
(You’ll end up begging for forgiveness from)
You can only say your hands are tied
(The weight of all that you can’t overcome)
When your eyes aren’t wide
(If there’s any other way to be then show me)
If you really want it to be alright
(When you start to feel the levy strain)
You have to find the time
(To look up and breathe through the rain)
A thief or an entertainer
A failure or the piece of paper
A messianic public figure or a celebrity with disciples
A slave to the anger in your nature or just kindness you don’t have time for
A father or a fiction
A fist or an invocation
A senator with the powerful implication, or a civilian who dies patient
An assumption or an honest conversation
Fear breeds in the pause can’t you feel it?
A revolution’s eldest daughter or a pink stereotype men bought her
A well of useful information or water damage on a moral foundation
A king or a contradiction
Strength or self-preservation
The consequence of motion
I see through a hole in my heart now that you’re gone
I waste my time on these moral rivalries
Instead of embracing that no one knows anything
And life still goes on with or without
(And we must be brave, with or without)
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